sevenvirtues | (no subject)

(no subject)

You awaken to blackness. Frightening, although familiar--this is the same terrible thing you narrowly avoided during your first trip into Lebensbaum. The pain of your death is still real, echoes of the wounds you suffered appearing on your skin. Inspecting your surroundings will tell you that you've woken up inside of the cooled, empty bonfire pit....and the town as it was is nowhere to be seen.

The sky is a whirlwind of blank, dark void. What previously acted as roadblocks on either side of the town seems to have moved upward, blocking out most of the sun's light. The street is barren, filled with piles of broken concrete, shattered glass, and smoking craters where many of the buildings used to be. Old bloodstains dot the pavement, mixing in with overturned cars and crumbling brick walls. Lebensbaum is a dead town, in more ways than one.

Except for the hotel. It stands, as dusty and abandoned as it ever was, but no worse for the wear. Scorch marks can be seen on the ground around it in a clear border, as though it had a barrier protecting it from whatever destroyed the village. If you venture inside, everything is in its place, as though the outside wasn't completely obliterated.

The living can be seen walking around, going about their daily lives, and if you concentrate, you can even see the buildings as they once were--in working order, clean, and in one piece.

As of Monday on Week 10, however, there is a door, seemingly pasted into the middle of the street. As the days tick by, the doors will increase in number, one for each victim.

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What, all that and he didn't even tell us anything useful? What an asshole!

Let's blow up his door. [SHE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO GO GET THOSE GRENADES FUCK YOU SLOTH]

[he should. probably stop her. groans more.]

no, i got something out of it. and don't explode the door, we might need it later.

Like what? We knew most of that shit already and the stuff we didn't doesn't seem like it'll be helpful at all? [UGH SHE REFUSES TO TALK TO LUCIFER OR ASK HER FOR ANY HELP WHATSOEVER OR DO ANYTHING WITH HER THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE MURDER]

Maybe if we blow it up, he won't be able to find a way back out here!

i know you hate puzzles, but even you've gotta know that having more pieces helps.

[that was a bit harsh for sans, so he just sighs and gets up. he's annoyed, but he learned something. that's more than he can say last time. he shouldn't take it out on undyne just because her brand of shounen clashes with Douchey McDadface.]

he can teleport, so a door won't matter. but i'll need it if i wanna go back out.

Not if they're pieces to the wrong puzzle. If he's willingly giving us answers, then they're not going to be ones we can use against them.

[She doesn't care about Sans being harsh with her at all - it's actually a pretty enjoyable break from his normal bullshit trolling! GO FOR IT SANS GET MAD AT HER THIS IS GREAT]

You're going back in there? You sure you'll be okay? Need me to come with you?

[no]

he probably doesn't think we can. and maybe we can't-- but we've got a bunch of humans still hanging out alive who might.

[and oh boy wow no. no he does not.]

nope. it's probably gonna be a waiting game anyway. which, heh. i'm pretty good at.

[that is nothing to brag about. at all.]

besides. someone might as well use that huge bed he's got. wake me up if something happens.

[So Undyne fucked off somewhere shortly after this conversation, but she comes back right before Sans is about to go through Sloth's door, looking unusually serious and pensive.]

Hey Sans. If you do see Sloth again, can you try something for me?

[... undyne looking serious is fine, but undyne looking pensive is probably the scariest shit sans has seen all day.

admittedly all he did today was bully his sindad so that wasn't very scary.]

uh. try what?

[he's not making any promises he hates promises???]

[ugh Sans you'll make a promise to a woman you've never met before but you won't make a promise for her SHE SEES HOW IT IS!!]

What I said about him being used as a tool clearly didn't work, but maybe you'll have better luck with your approach. [aka the lazy bastard approach]

The best chance we'll probably have is to try to turn the sins against each other or Katerina. She's clearly not as in control here as she wants us to believe. So...see if you can get Sloth to start thinking this isn't worth the effort. He doesn't seem to know what any of their actual goals are. Ask him if he actually has a plan beyond 'follow Lucifer around' and if it's worth spending all this energy on an end result he's not even aware of.

Ask him if it's really worth doing all of this just for some girl's stupid quest.

[Huh it kind of sounds like Undyne's been thinking a lot about this??? How strange....]

[look. look. look.

goats are hot.]

[sans hadn't expected something this sensible out of undyne, so he just stares at her for a few seconds without answering. it's not a bad plan. heck, it's not too far from what sans had planned to do in the first place-- well. part of it. answers came first. though he's going to raise the one flaw in undyne's plan:]

...sure. alright. i'll give it a shot. but i dunno if you should bank on my persuasion skills.

[the flaw is sans himself, obviously. ha ha! as usual.]

You're lazy, he's lazy, just tell him he gets to sleep more if he stops messing with us! If anyone can get through to him, it's you! [COM...PLIMENT...?]

Oh, one more thing. You probably figured this out already, but don't bother wasting your time asking him anything about the history of this town or why Katerina summoned them or stuff like that.

[gee... thanks?]

...if he's anythin' like me, it's less lazy and more. well. y'know.

[apathy. she... probably gets it?? he told her once. she gets it. the point being that it'll be pretty hard to get him to give a shit enough even with the promise of something as appealing as sleep. which sans knows. from personal experience.

sloth jr over here]

why not? the whole "doesn't care to know shit" vibe?

[tbh, he actually 100% agrees with that assessment, but he just really wants to know Why Undyne Believes This.]

Edited 2016-04-25 04:25 (UTC)

Either way, as long as he doesn't care that much about what they're doing, you might as well give it a shot. Can't hurt, yeah? [Yeah she gets it, but apathy has its uses too when it's the ENEMY.] Just...make something up about how stupid Katerina's goal is, you're good at bullshitting. Tell him...I dunno, tell him it's for some dumb reason like revenge that she was too weak to get herself or something like that. Anything that would get him to start thinking maybe this isn't worth it after all.

[And she immediately answers his question with a vigorous nod, looking a little relieved.] Yeah, exactly! If he obviously doesn't know, you might as well not bother asking, right? I mean look at how much I wasted our chance to talk to him! Don't make the same mistake!

[Did. Did Undyne just admit to fucking up. To Sans. Is this what friendship with her is like???]

[...did undyne just admit to fucking up. to sans.]

[he'd answer literally anything but he's in a bit of a shock????]

[is she broken. is it an alternate universe undyne. did sans break her. does she actually feel that bad because-- because sans isn't sure how to deal with that?? where is papyrus when he needs him???? okay. okay sans, you can do this. have a single emotion. connect on an emotional level with a per--]

heh. i try real hard to make my own mistakes. don't worry.

[nailed it. also: that probably isn't reassuring.]

anyway, considering he definitely knows more than i do about katerina's bs, i think i'm gonna have to wing something better when it comes to convincing him. hopefully it won't get too hawkward.

[...sans you can't just make random bird puns because you used the word wing in a sentence. it does nothing to hide how uncomfortable you are. it only makes it more obvious. it is NOT EVEN A GOOD PUN]

[Well, Undyne will go ahead and make him even more uncomfortable by not even reacting to those puns. Instead, she just says really quickly:]

No!

[And then she covers her mouth for a second before putting on a huge strained smile.]

I mean uh - whaaaat, no way could you come up with a better reason than mine! Is that a challenge!! Anyway, you shouldn't make it too complicated, he'll probably catch you. Just use a simple reason. Like mine. But only because it's the best fake reason and way better than anything you can come up with!! Don't insult my pride!!

Unless you actually think it won't work. In which case, you do you. He likes you better, I have complete and total faith in you. Because this is your plan. That you should just make up as you go along. Without any input from anyone else.

But my reason is. Definitely super cool and great and better than yours even though I just made it up this second and youshouldtotallyuseit. Trust me, it's not fishy at all! Water you so worried about?! Where there's a gill there's a way! Hahaha, get it?!

[And then she. Gives him double finger-guns. That alternate universe theory sure is looking better and better...]

[. . . . . . . . . .wow. and sans thought papyrus was bad at hiding things.]

wow. that's a great point, but y'know what. i think i should make it super outlandish. tell him she totally summoned them to battle to the death, in one of those huge arena humans have. oh, and they'll be using only whips. whaddya think?

[UGH SANS STOP TRYING TO TURN HER GILLS GREY. Undyne just smiles at him through gritted teeth.]

If you...think that's...best. I mean, we probably only get one shot at this, but whatever. You would know how to get through a lazy bas--a sloth demon better than I would. If that's what you think will work, then go for it! Good luck.

[oh my god she's not even hiding anything she is just genuinely worried? oh my god. that's somehow even funnier?? also, sadder???]

undyne. relax. i know i don't exactly got the best track record with doin' great work, but i always get it done, don't i?

[and. because again, that's probably not reassuring at any point]

'sides. for all i know, papyrus's continued existence might be on the line with this shit. even i can't slack off.

I know. I do trust you. Especially with Papyrus's life at stake. I know you'll do whatever you can.

[Wow, she actually sounds completely genuine about this? She then bends down, gripping his shoulders hard, and looks him straight in the eye.]

And because of that, I need you to trust me too, okay? You know I wouldn't mess around on something this serious either. Trust that I know what I'm talking about. If it comes up, go with what I told you.

[.....???? no but seriously is she DYING]

uhhhh. ok. sure. if it comes up.

[sans is pretty sure slothdad neither cares nor wonders why he was summoned but OKAY UNDYNE, IF YOU INSIST]

[Yeah, she realizes this too, which is why she straightens up with a far more familiar irritated expression on her face.]

Of course, I seriously doubt he'll care anyway. What an asshole. But we might as well try any angle we can.

[sans is back in safe, familiar territory. PHEW. they almost had a moment there.]

that seems like an acute observation. i'll try to go the full 90 degrees on that guy. [kill him]

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